Tomatoes look good in crowds but aren’t much better than anything green. However, they are good practice.
A short guide to surviving 5 hours of pity stares and not so subtle jokes about you dying alone.
Cucumbers are not the ‘big boys’ of the dating world, rather a soggy, clingy cliché.
– my boyfriend, almost every single day.
If the dating pool was a salad bowl we would all be drowning in lettuce.
Turns out my love life is so pathetic that I must be commended for finding someone to date me.
“You can be right AND an asshole at the same time.”