Tomatoes look good in crowds but aren’t much better than anything green. However, they are good practice.
A short guide to surviving 5 hours of pity stares and not so subtle jokes about you dying alone.
“All I do is sit at the typewriter and start hitting the keys. Getting them in the right order – that’s the trick. That’s the trick.” – Garth Marenghi
Cucumbers are not the ‘big boys’ of the dating world, rather a soggy, clingy cliché.
– my boyfriend, almost every single day.
If the dating pool was a salad bowl we would all be drowning in lettuce.
Turns out my love life is so pathetic that I must be commended for finding someone to date me.
“You can be right AND an asshole at the same time.”
Every woman gets served a man salad during her life and it’s up to her to choose the final bite.
People, you need to stop being selfish and give away your organs.